what
I teach an approach to meditation called Instinctive Meditation™, which is designed to make meditation feel like the most natural thing in the world. It recognises that meditation is an innate ability that we all have—a biological instinct for recovery, pleasure and connection that just needs to be awakened.
Human beings have been spontaneously meditating in countless ways for thousands of years. Some of the most common meditative experiences include:
- being awestruck by some aspect of nature
- falling in love with another being (a partner, a child, a pet)
- experiencing the joy of being alive during ‘peak experiences’
- losing yourself in creative pleasure, eg. dance, art, cooking or music
- finding ‘the zone’ or ‘flow state’ in the midst of activity
- letting go into deep rest, or surrendering to a moment of care
- feeling an intimate connection with the sacred
These kinds of experiences happen to everyone, which is why we all recognize and appreciate them. But they happen so infrequently and randomly that they often pass us by, or leave us unfulfilled. The point of meditation is to turn these experiences into a regular part of your life, so they don’t only happen to you once in a while. What would your life look like if you could feel that way every single day?
With just a little bit of guidance and understanding, you can create a rich and restorative meditation practice that gives you exactly what you’re looking for: energy, love, peace, wisdom, contentment, insight, creative ideas, passion, intimacy…
In my view, what we all need more than ever (and what the world needs) is people who know how to be with themselves in a way that nourishes and delights them. As individuals, perhaps the most important thing we can do is take a little time each day to consciously restore ourselves, so that we bring the best of what’s inside us out into the world. Meditation is one practice that allows you to enjoyably and efficiently dance with your own thoughts, feelings and energies, so that after just a few minutes, you emerge feeling refreshed and ‘like yourself’ again.
Imagine what your life (and the world) would look like if you could give yourself that gift every day. And trust me when I say, it’s not a lack of time that’s stopping you. Rather, it’s not having an accurate conception of what meditation is, and therefore dismissing it as ‘not for you’; not knowing what to do when you meditate; choosing ways to meditate that subconsciously don’t vibe with you; and not cooperating with yourself deeply enough to make meditation truly feel like ‘your thing’.
Meditation is a practice for anyone and everyone. It is customisable to a truly infinite degree—doesn’t matter if you’re a busy young mum with a hectic job, or a lonely guy with nothing better to do. There are countless ways for you to find your groove and turn the most everyday experiences into deep, sensual moments of relaxation and connection.
Brighton Beach, 2016
why
I came to Instinctive Meditation™ after a decade of daily meditation practice (and several retreats) in various lineages. I started out in conventional mindfulness practice, moved into Theravada-style shamatha-vipassana meditation, trained seriously in Tibetan analytical meditation, and then dove deep into somatic meditation. Along the way, being a yoga teacher, I also tried yogic approaches to meditation, was strongly influenced by Zen meditation, and began to study tantra and mantrayana.
All this taught me that the world of meditation is immensely rich and at times, confusingly complex. Lineages and traditions evolved their own ways of assuring you that you’re ‘making progress’ or that ‘yes, that’s how you’re supposed to feel when you meditate’. But meditation is such an intimate, personal experience that ultimately only you can know if it’s working for you or not. Much of the time we aren’t sure, so we never properly commit to a practice; or, when we do commit, we suppress our instinctive sense that something isn’t quite right with the way we’re doing things—because that’s how everyone else is doing it.
This is where a meditation coach (like me) comes in. My job is to:
orient you to yourself
It’s my job to give you a reliable map so that you start to understand what’s going on inside you and why when you take a time-out and meditate.
For example: why do I have all these random ideas? why can’t I stop replaying that conversation I had? why do I keep thinking about this and that? why do I suddenly feel exhausted, and then two seconds later, have so much energy that I can’t I stay still? why do I daydream, and where do my fantasies come from? why do I occasionally lose track of time?
There is a reason for all this, and once you know what it is, you’ll be able to let go fully, and relax in your own presence.
clarify your thinking
…and point out any misapprehensions, because we all have these when it comes to meditation. All of us (including myself) come into meditation practice with ideas of what it’s meant to feel like, what it’s for and not for, what’s right and not right, what’s supposed to happen or not supposed to happen. Sound familiar?
Many, if not all, of these ideas are unhelpful. But I’m here to help you sort them out, and provide you with insights about the meditative journey that you can trust and rely on. Part of what I appreciate about Instinctive Meditation is it draws from so many distinct strands—psychology and neuroscience, somatics, and the ancient traditions of yoga and tantra—to weave together a model of meditation that intuitively makes sense.
help you discover your own unique gateways into the meditative state
What works for others may not work for you, and vice versa. Trust me when I say, meditation is customisable to a degree you’ve never even realised is possible—in other words, nothing about you or your life is an obstacle or a problem.
In my view, the most satisfying way to create and stick to meditation is to make it personal, and do it your own way. Meditation isn’t supposed to be a struggle, an inner war, a discipline, a chore… it’s not meant to be boring, or something you take like a medicine or perform like a ritual because ‘it’s good for you’. It is an inner call to be yourself in the most freeing, delightful way; a surrender to your natural desires for rest and rejuvenation, adventure and excitement, sensual pleasure and enjoyment.
figure out how meditation best fits into your life
Together, we can find a way to insert meditative moments and practices seamlessly into your everyday, ordinary life. This might mean numerous 5-minute practices spaced throughout the day, whenever you need a boost. It might look like one long, unwinding practice at the end of your workday, to recover from all the pressures and enjoy a restful night afterwards. It might mean a short but sweet practice session in the morning, or at lunchtime. It might even mean weekend meditations only.
The options are endless, but the trouble is often that we can’t see them on our own. Just getting a little bit of support from a coach can open up new directions and avenues when it comes to the duration, direction, and style of your practice.
If you’ve never experienced or even thought about meditation in this way before—get in touch and talk to me about it. I’m available by email, via the contact form on this website, or you can also book an introductory phone call to find out more.
how it works
1-1 sessions
Usually we begin with an introductory phone call for us to get to know each other. I’ll ask you about yourself, your life, your background and any prior experience you have with meditation. After that, I’ll have a sense of how many sessions you may need (generally somewhere between 3 and 10), and we can decide on the frequency as best accommodates your schedule. Sessions can be done online via video or audio call, or in-person if you’re near me. Each session is usually 45-75 minutes.
Within a single session, I’ll first introduce you to a certain idea or element of meditation, then lead you through a practice for you to feel it for yourself. After that there is time for you to reflect and integrate, give feedback, ask questions, clarify your understanding and experience etc.
While the practices themselves are incredible (you can find some recordings here), to me the most valuable part of a coaching session is the post-practice discussion. This is when you get the opportunity to process your inner experience, put words to it if that’s helpful, understand what happened to you and why, and generally benefit from my expertise and training as it applies to you and your situation. After a few sessions like this, a pattern will generally emerge that shows you: (1) your preferences and favoured approach to meditation; and (2) how that will translate into a regular meditation practice.
Everyone’s reasons for seeking meditation coaching are different, but don’t underestimate the benefit of having someone there to support you. Whether it’s about enhancing an existing practice, developing the habit of self-care through meditation, or simply making a connection with a like-minded person—there is something precious and valuable in the time we spend together. Meditation may be a solitary endeavour, but I like to remember that meditators are still humans, who need connection with others to flourish.
When I first started working with Vaishali, I was going through a period of intense suffering in my life and it felt like the very ground beneath my feet had disappeared. I was trying my best to fight back and recover but a huge problem I faced was living in my head and overthinking. Working with Vaishali helped me immensely, as through our sessions she helped me make the shift from head to heart and connect with myself in a much deeper and authentic way, as we engaged in some beautifully crafted, restorative practices. I will be forever grateful for her support and genuine care during my healing process!
—Ben H.
group sessions
I’m available to lead group sessions and workshops at your studio, wellness center, apartment complex, neighbourhood park or company office. Please get in touch for bookings.
learn more
Read more about Instinctive Meditation™ here, and about me here. You can also check out my 6-part series of articles about meditation:
- What Meditation is All About
- The How and Why of Meditation
- Whole Self Adventuring
- Rhythms of Attention
- Meditate with your Body
- The Dance of Meditation and Life
If you enjoy my writing, consider subscribing to my substack—it’s a lot about meditation, and how meditation intersects with my everyday life.
The Wise Body 